As the calendar turned to October, I began reading (listening to) a new book, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". Robert Kiyosaki's perspectives further changed my mindset from employee to entrepreneur, accelerating my departure from a corporate, income-based mindset. I think my wife must have been in shock by the end of October, because within two months of leaving my job, I was increasingly adopting a new perspective on money and my career - most of which involved not making a lot of money, at that point. She was patient with me, but I could see signs of me pushing her a little too much. It was important for me to learn how to grow together in this evolution, instead of running so far up ahead and calling back to her to catch up.
Ironically, however, it wasn't my wife who was being pushed too far, it was me. The feverish pace of my new education, the incredible weight of responsibilities I was bearing, the financial pressures, the breakneck schedule - everything was piling up so fast, and I finally broke. The morning of October 25, I woke up sick to my stomach, exhausted, and completely run over. I couldn't eat, and I slept away more than half the day, and I couldn't convince my body to do anything more than roll over in bed. Barely six weeks into being an entrepreneur and here I was, nursing myself through a meltdown day.
I would eventually have a couple more days like this during that first year, pushing my mind and body to the wall, and realizing I needed to ease up. This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I used to think there was no wall, no limit to how much I could push myself. I have always hated resting and sleep, it would always feel so wasteful. But, as John Piper says, sleep is a daily reminder that we are not God, and I needed that reminder. Repeatedly.
A week later, I was contacted by a former customer from my telecom job, who asked me to provide some technical consultation on an internal project. Naively, I accepted the opportunity and two weeks later, traveled there to provide the requested consultation, which turned into a job proposal...of substantial proportions. His offer would've exceeded my previous comfortable income, and given me executive powers and an equity stake in his company.
It felt good to be recognized for what I had done at my previous job, and for my skills to be desired. I think we all want that kind of affirmation at our jobs, to feel like we're being rewarded for the things we've done. This was a true test for me, a pivotal decision in my new entrepreneurial mindset: do I go back to working in a corporate job much like my previous job (but with better returns) or continue to set out on my own journey? If I fail at my new venture, will I have wished that I would've accepted his job offer? What about moving my family for the job? Does this betray loyalties to my previous employer, or more importantly to my friends still working there? Can I take the job and still accomplish my entrepreneurial objectives somehow in the long-term?
I told my former customer that I needed some time to sort out priorities and decide my course of action. In the meantime, things were pressure-filling with my startup venture because we were now into our third month of development and the app that we were building was still a horrible mess. We were aiming our business efforts at the beauty industry because the barrier to entry seemed lower, but the consequence was that we were building an app for a market that we knew nothing about - and one that I had no desire to enter. It was a means to an end, but it was feeling more and more out of sorts for me, and I was becoming increasingly worried that this venture I was hanging my hat on was dependent upon an app that was a complete joke. The job decision now seemed more like an ultimatum - if we couldn't correct our current trajectory, and quickly, I had a very attractive parachute. I was enjoying the rush of the free fall, but I couldn't help but begin feeling for that ripcord...
